My wife has a name for this look I get—she calls it the “million mile stare.” We’ll be sitting at dinner or on the couch, and she’ll notice I’m gone—mentally off in a different universe, usually consumed by work. Not physically absent, but definitely not fully there.
As we get ready for our sabbatical, one of the most important things we’ve talked about is how to be more present. Especially for me. It’s not that I don’t know how—I’ve had some practice. Years ago, we lucked into an upgraded suite in Hale 7 at the Marriott Wailea. One morning, I sat on the lanai and just watched a single bead of water make its way down a bird of paradise petal. For ten minutes, I didn’t think about anything else. No work, no planning, no problem-solving. Just watched. It was strange and peaceful—and it stuck with me.
That kind of presence is something I want to carry with me into this time away. It won’t be easy. My default setting is to think about what’s next—where we’re going, what we’re cooking, what our future looks like. I like to optimize, to plan. But part of the point of this break is to unhook from that loop, even for a little while.
So I’ve been thinking a lot about how to actually *practice* presence. Not just in theory, but in the lived moments of each day. What does the air smell like where we are? What’s the light doing on the wall in the afternoon? How does it feel to have time to walk slowly? These are tiny things, but maybe that’s the point.
It feels like a privilege to even be thinking this way. So many people can’t. Life is filled with stressors that don’t allow for this kind of pause. I don’t take that for granted. And if you’ve found tools that help you be more present—apps, habits, reminders—I’d love to hear about them. Send me a tip or a helpful resource that I can add to the Resources page.
This is where I am right now: trying to learn how to just be here.